Focus 2 (of 4) - Adulthood is Particular

Focus 2|Adulthood is Particular

Comparison can be helpful, but when comparison becomes competition and success replaces service, vocation is lost.
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Let’s talk about calculating for defeat.
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Welcome Perspective
Growth can be measured—and should be—but not so you can compete or win.
Read about how competition is not a new problem.
The problem with competition is that it does the opposite of God’s highest goal: it divides where he wishes to unite. In fact, God gives people “vocations” and “competency” (key markers of adulthood) so you can contribute to the united community he is building.


God is looking for something like you + you + you + you = us, but when competition enters the equation ( in its worst ways) it causes division and subtraction. This has been going on forever. The Apostle Paul had to deal with it when he wrote to the Christians in Corinth in the first century.


Scroll down to see Paul’s words (and our respective notes) revealed. 



Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.
That is, let the one who boasts not boast in their own accomplishments or greatness. It will never work—no matter how high you fly, you can’t fly high enough.


Therefore let the one who boasts not be engaged in competition against the rest of humanity. Even more so, let the one who boasts realize how much greater God is than they, and appreciates that he shares every benefit of his greatness with them for free, and rejoice in that grace. 

Worship with this thought as an Icarus metaphor in the song High Enough by The Gray Havens and spoken-word poet Propaganda.
Find victory in Jesus, not in achievement.
Paul’s words “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord” actually come from the Old Testament.


This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,
but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23–24
Discuss: What does it look like for you to boast in these things:


  • that you have the understanding to know God,
  • that he is the Lord who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth,
  • that he delights in those things (and therefore not in not those things.)
Pray this prayer—together:


Lord,

You have made each one of us,
and allowed us to be as we are.
For this we are certainly thankful,
but our thankfulness is for so much more.
You have taught us who you are
through your word and through those who share it.
You have shown us what you value:
kindness from each to the other,
justice in times of wrongdoing and pain,
and righteousness that follows in your footsteps.
These are gifts from you,
and since you’ve given them to us,
we are proud to receive this love
which has never been better shown
than in the love, life, and sacrifice of your Son, Jesus,
who humbled himself to serve and save us.

Amen.
Worship Perspective
Compared to Jesus, you lose (unless he chooses to become the least).
Stop chasing after Mercury.
Most of the competition humanity engages in is mercurial. Mercury was the Greek messenger god, the fastest of all the gods. As a physical substance, mercury is a slick liquid that’s difficult to grasp. As an adjective, mercurial usually connotes a sudden, unpredictable change.


The point? Stuff that’s connected to mercury is too hard to get hold of to be worth chasing. The song God’s of American Success is an excellent poem exploring this.


First, listen to the song below.
After listening, go back and discuss the lyrics (in italics, below) using the questions included within them (in bold, below).


White-faced phantoms in a foggy rain…
minnows in the pool, the way they slip away…
and I go fumbling, go run again to repossess…
The story of my youth, the story of my electric past!


(In what ways is coming-of-age often related to trying to grab at something you can’t quite catch?)



Are we running after flickering sparks?
Are we grappling for diamonds in the dark?
Oh, the way we chase that mercury!

Loud like lions and as slick as wolves,
desperately we hunt the other animals
but in the end, if all we are is dogs out back chasing cars
then pray we don't get the things we want!


(Share examples of ways you have chased elusive competitions in your life—especially ones where you later realized what you were chasing wasn’t something you really wanted.)


Are we running after flickering sparks?
Are we grappling for diamonds in the dark?
Oh, the way we chase that mercury!
The way we chase that mercury!

Another pound of flesh,
offer it up to the gods of American success
but no matter what you are, you’re only second best
And it’s all that you can ever hope to be.
The way you chase that mercury!

(How is time spent in unhealthy competition—competition fueled by the devil’s lies—the same as offering a pound of flesh on the altar of a false god?)



Fragile frames fumble in the mystery
afraid to be exposed while we pretend to be
something more than what we are:
fools in love with punch drunk hearts,
mystified by everything we see.


(“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” -Hebrews 11:1)


(What descriptive words are used in the verse above to show the ways that you have no choice but to be dependent on faith? Which descriptor is your favorite?)


Are we running after flickering sparks?
Are we grappling for diamonds in the dark?
Oh, the way we chase that mercury!
The way we chase that mercury!
Oh, the way we chase that mercury!
The way we chase that mercury!

Another pound of flesh,
offer it up to the gods of American success
but no matter what you are, you’re only second best
And it’s all that you can ever hope to be.
The way you chase that mercury!

(This Spotlight has yet to give a concrete definition of “unhealthy competition.” At this point, how would you define it?)



There must be more to this, our desperate wandering.
How do we put to rest all of our discontent?
Beneath the shadows of all that we think we want is there a light, we can’t see?
There must be more to this, our desperate wandering.
How do we put to rest all of our discontent?
Beneath the shadows of all that we think we want is there a light, we can’t see? 

(The light that is “beneath the shadows of all that we think we want” is the light that facilitates connection, one being to another. Anything you’re doing that gets in the way of the light is…)



The way you chase that mercury!
Compare, don’t compete.
Despite all the danger of competition, God is still interested in your growth, progress and ambition. These are good things.

The devil loves to take God’s good things and make them bad, and he often does. Let’s consider how to use comparison in helpful ways.
Discuss: What does it mean when the verses above say “carry their own load”? 

(Your group needs a consensus definition of this before doing the below activity.)



Work through the following questions for yourself, on paper or in a notes app.

Set a timer, taking four minutes to do this on your own. Once the timer is up, pair up with a friend and share your answers (if you’re in a group).


  1. “Each one should test their own actions.”
    (Consider the activities that dominate your average week. What are the top 3–4?)
  2. “Each one should carry their own load.”
    (Rate yourself, when it comes to those 3–4 activities, on a scale of 1–10. 1 = “not carrying your own load” and 10 = “carrying your own load.”)
  3. “Then they can take pride in themselves alone.”
    (What is one thing you can truly take pride in each of the 3–4 activities?)
  4. “Without comparing themselves to others.”
    (Where have you failed and played the comparison game in each of the 3–4 activities?)
Learn Perspective
The comparison worth making is your past vs present vs future.
Complement what you covet.
God sees you as you struggle with competition, and he loves you. He even put some guardrails into the 10 Commandments to help with this:

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Exodus 20:17


There’s an important difference between wanting what can be yours and wanting what cannot. The tendency to compete and compare—especially as one increases in competence, responsibility, skill, and purpose—leads people to covet.

Do this: Your community service task is to complement five things that you have been tempted to covet.

Help one another out by giving neutral examples of things people often want but cannot have because someone else has them. The commandment gets you started: house, spouse, servant (wealth/assets), ox (tools/toys), donkey (mode of transportation)…

NOTE: Before you move on from this, each person should have a personal list of five things they’re going to try to complement this week.
Feel free to submit a prayer request by filling out the below form.

(If you choose to make your request public, you'll see it display in the Current at the end of the Spotlight along with anyone else who did the same.)

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Pray through your requests—together—as a group.
After submitting your requests in the above form, take some time to share with your group whatever requests the group might have for this week.
Serve Perspective
When competing stops, others’ success becomes a chance to celebrate them (and God!)
Listen to this song in celebration of your place in Christ’s victory.

No single person can add to the victory Jesus has won for all people by defeating sin, but as you grow into your vocations God gives you a place in the celebration of that victory.


This song is a collective worship song for every person to sing of the importance of the victory of the one against whom you could never compete but without whom you could never win.
Lyrics from Your Royal Blood by Rend Collective

What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?
What can make me white as snow?
Nothing but your royal blood.

What can heal the heart of stone?
What can resurrect these bones?
There’s no other fount I know.
Nothing but your royal blood—
nothing but your royal blood.

Your blood will never lose its power—
your blood will never lose.
Your victory will stand forever;
your blood will never lose

This was won upon the cross,
this was written on his scars,
this has made us conquerors.
Nothing but your royal blood—
nothing but your royal blood

Your blood will never lose its power—
your blood will never lose.
Your victory will stand forever;
your blood will never lose.

Your blood will never lose its power—
your blood will never lose.
Your victory will stand forever;
your blood will never lose.

Now by this, we’ll overcome.
Now by this, we’ll reach our home.
Now our sin and shame are gone,
only by your royal blood.

Now by this, we’ll overcome.
Now by this, we’ll reach our home.
Now our sin and shame are gone,
only by your royal blood—
only by your royal blood.

Your blood will never lose its power—
your blood will never lose.
Your victory will stand forever;
your blood will never lose—
your blood will never lose—
your blood will never lose.
Sing along with (or listen to) this song to close out this Spotlight.
Feel free to sing along or simply listen. Do what makes you comfortable—but do whatever helps you focus on the song's meaning best.

Farewell Perspective
You’re called from the group, not to help yourself, but to add to the group.
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